Wiped Clean (Arguments with God)

I think it's so funny how you would use this experience to change me. Once again, you're asking me to go beyond this world's standards and cling to what I know is only good in your eyes.

I have let music be so important to me. It was so important, that I would steal it. Limewire was my best friend several years ago because I could download any music I wanted and it was always free. It was okay, because everybody did it. And it wasn't really stealing. Besides, most of the music I downloaded was Christian music, and Christians are charitable... they'd give me their music free if I asked them... right?

Lies. Excuses. Reasons I use to try and justify my actions because it's more comfortable to keep doing wrong and act like I don't know it is wrong, than to do the right thing and allow you to change me a little more.

I bought a new computer. Just like the new me, it is wiped cleaned. Nothing on it. No website ever viewed. No file ever placed on it. I didn't see it at first, but now I'm beginning to understand the subtle parallel. How could I, with integrity, place the old onto the new if the old does not please you?

I tried again and again in frustration. I have put so many hours into trying to transfer file after file. Meanwhile, your gentle Spirit attempts to show me my guilt. I pushed it away, clicked "remind me later," and tried again and again. Meanwhile, frustrations increased as I attempted so many other avenues.

I resign though, God. I will not turn against integrity to do what satisfies me. I cannot click "ignore"  again because it's wearing down my battery...

It may seem so small a revelation... "don't steal music anymore." But I think this lesson is so much more than that. You're not just asking me to walk in integrity with the music I put onto my computer. You're asking me to walk in integrity in my own life. There are still certain areas of my life that I haven't completely surrendered to you, hidden files tucked away, embedded in codes that I sometimes hope in secrecy no one will be able to crack... I have allowed some virus-filled files of my old life to be transfered into the new life I am supposed to be living in You.

How can I say I am new if the old is still present? How can I expect things to run smoothly if I'm allowing things that you've asked me to delete to still sit hidden in my recycling bin? I don't want to recycle my old self- it's supposed to be gone for good. I want to wipe my hard drive completely clean and start fresh.

Thank you Jesus for this revelation.