A Glimpse of Maybe

I'm suddenly beginning to see how crucial each of our roles is. I realize we're not perfect. The dysfunction we've grown to accept is quite enough to make any outsider question us and look down on us... And of course there are moments when the chaos is enough to make me wish things were different. But when I looked around last night- really looked- I saw us for who and what we really are.

We are broken and dirty and we're falling apart, yes. But we are so much more than that. In the eyes of each person I could see a soul, and I saw their desire to love and to be loved. I saw beauty as You meant it, dear One. I saw just a tiny glimpse of who we were and who we might have become had life worked out more ideally. Then I realized it's not too late to have all that.

I didn't just see this on the faces of my generation though. I heard it in the voices of the generation before mine- a longing to make time again, to share again, to be together like before. And again I recognized it when a few of us were brave enough to voice our hope to stay in touch and love more fiercely in the future as we grow.

There was such a peace last night, and I feel lit carrying me into this morning. I didn't know a deck of cards and bowling balls could evoke such emotion. It was like You gave me Your eyes to see past the thing I've always held against them. And then You gave me Your heart to love them just a bit more than I thought I could.

I know we're still imperfect. But the love we share cancels out imperfection. Never have I felt so free to be myself than in the presence of those I've known our whole lives. We were free to dance and sing, to pose and to play. We were free to joke and laugh and hug... We were free to know family as you intended it to be. Beautiful.

I only pray now you give us the strength to fight for each other. I hope You give us courage and determination to move around all the obstacles that have for so long hindered us. Make us desperate for each other and for the family that we've always known laid just out of sight in the rubble of our silence.