It's becoming more apparent that Your painful truths and heart wrenching wisdom are becoming the motivation and joy of my life. I remember praying earnestly with them for You to show up and do something amazing. I remember asking to be used for Your glory and hoping for miracles. But while they were so excited for what You might do, I was the only one, it seemed, who asked You how it could be done.
In pain. In inconvenience. In sacrifice. In letting my plans and schedules fall into the fire.
He talked about living in Your will this week. And it reminded me. The truth is I haven't given it much thought lately, and I've been missing You. But You've been showing up all over the place, Love. In each bird You send me. In a German flag on the car in front of mine. In opportunities I might otherwise pass up with excuses if I didn't feel You leading me.
I looked at her brokenness and saw myself all those months ago. I looked at her anger and frustration and it was like looking into a mirror of the past. I let her scream and fight with those she loved because I knew it was what she needed at the moment- to be angry. I didn't let her apologize for being human, just like the light You sent my way didn't let me. And during that drive I found You riding next to me, between us. And You told me to pay attention. And I noticed.
There have been intricate doorways carved in places I overlooked; stepping stones to get to this moment that I didn't realize I was walking on. In the sea of apathy, You gave me dry land of silent understanding and simple notice. Those steps led Us to speak to something so much deeper than her circumstances of this week.
I realized something. You set me up. But it was a setup I could only welcome with open hands and a prayerful heart.
I'm grateful for Your grace, Daddy. I'm thankful that You show up in the strangest places during our most unhappy circumstances. I'm happy to be inconvenienced for Your glory, Love.
